"At the dawning of the mind's eye, in a maelstrom of pain,Home | A Dream of Death
tortured into consciousness, on the rack we are trained."
Awakened! By the cracking of my spine.
I'm screaming my throat raw, no relief do I find.
The one who cranks the rack, the one I must obey,
who does it out of love, a love that I've betrayed.
The more I fight the rack, the more it cuts my skin,
forcing me to quench the fire that burns within.
I can't fight it any longer,
I feel like I'm floating away,
I hear myself surrender,
my mind repeats what they say.
On the rack we are trained.
A mind pried open and filled with lies,
helpless in the torture room, no one hears the cries.
Alone in darkness and trembling with fear,
Demons now haunt the world, never seen but feel so near...
The pounding! Grows longer and stronger every day.
Pulling my world apart, all that I am tears away.
It's now a daily ritual, and one I can't escape.
The rack is cranked another notch, I'm twisted into shape.
The torturers are different now but everything's the same,
Do a little trick for them and they will ease your pain.
I just want it to be over.
and hope that my wounds will heal.
But even in total silence,
I still hear the sound of the wheel.
On the rack we are trained.
An ounce of pleasure for a pound of pain,
the cyclical madness, on the rack we are trained.
What once was beauty, now scars and burns,
what we once called ourselves disappears, never to return...
My anger always building, and tears me up inside,
but I cannot release it, for every time I tried.
I was met with hatred, and taken to a longer rack,
and drawn till I felt nothing and they had broken my back.
I live in constant torment from without and from within.
I fear to go any further in this game I cannot win.
There is no turning back, once broken on the rack.
© Brian Voth, 1998.
I felt the rain, turning everything to gray.Home | A Dream of Death
Numbing the pain, but washing all my hopes away.
It put out the flame and paralyzed my deep desire.
Left me for dead, a burned out shell in apathetic mire.
I was alone, in solitude I plant the seed.
Crying for help, but too afraid to show my need.
And then she appeared, as brilliant as a summer's day,
but bounded in sadness, a sadness only I could take away.
She was so beautiful to me.
A vision only I could see.
And when the clouds refused to break,
it was much more than I could take.
The more I see into the dream, the less I want reality...
You're my earthbound goddess. You're my heavy metal.
You are all I wanted, and above you there's no other.
Earthbound goddess, you're my heavy metal.
You're my ultimate love.
Hiding away from chilling winds and driving storms.
Cold and afraid, I did my best to keep her warm.
And slowly she turned, and opened up her yearning eyes.
I lost all my fear, and chased away the madness from the skies.
She was so beautiful to me.
A vision only I could see.
And when the clouds began to break,
I promised her I'd never wake.
The more I see into the dream, the less I cared for reality...
You're my earthbound goddess. You're my heavy metal.
You are all I wanted, and above you there's no other.
Earthbound goddess, you're my heavy metal.
You're my ultimate love.
Warmed by the sun and in a world so fresh and new.
We laughed and we sang, and danced among the morning dew.
And then we made love as tender as an angel's wing.
My heart was reborn and once again my hopes would ride the wind.
She was so beautiful to me.
A vision only I could see.
And as the sun renewed the land,
I felt that peace was close at hand.
You're my earthbound goddess. You're my heavy metal.
You are all I wanted, and above you there's no other.
The clouds are breaking, and the earth is shaking,
You're my ultimate love.
"You mean everything to me, but you're only a dream."
© Brian Voth, 1998.
So many questions in my soul, so many answers that I need to know.Home | A Dream of Death
Is there a god, a trinity, is he real, and what does he want from me?
Is there life after death, does it all just stop with our dying breath?
Are there rules to guide my head, does anything really matter when we're dead?
Then one day I was reading in the bible.
I came across a passage that meant so much to me.
The way it made me feel was truly divine.
I had seen the truth and it had set me free.
Now I'm a Christian Warrior, living life free from sin.
A Christian Warrior, righteousness will always win.
A Christian Warrior, a champion for Jesus Christ.
A Christian Warrior, saved because he paid the price.
Ever so slowly my senses returned,
and I saw straight through all that crap I had learned.
It's bullshit, it's bullshit, and I have bought the dream.
It's bullshit, it's bullshit, and I have been deceived.
I gave them all I had and they gave me nothing.
How could I have been so blind?
I'm a young man fresh out of school, filled full of knowledge, I am nobody's fool.
Looking for a chance to show my skill, give me a mountain and I'll turn it into a hill.
I'm going to climb the ladder straight to the top, when I get started I'm never going to stop.
Meet any challenge reach any goal, set me loose I'm ready to roll.
Then one day I finally got my wish.
A cool young firm offered me it all.
A desk and an office and a window on the world.
You know damn well I was ready to answer the call.
Now I'm a Company Man, working as hard as I can.
A Company Man, making real the master plan.
A Company Man, I'm loyal and I'm here to stay.
A Company Man, I will run this place some day.
Years pass and I am still stuck in this dead end.
Promises were broken by those I thought were friends.
It's bullshit, it's bullshit, and I have bought the dream.
It's bullshit, it's bullshit, and I have been deceived.
Next time I do it my way, with my beliefs, and my goals,
and my dreams, no one controls me but me.
I see it all so clear and clean, just one goal - to build my dream.
And everyone wants to help me along, to sell me something that makes me strong.
I need this and I need that and I need someone to show me where it's at.
One more step, one more try, one more change and I'll be ready to fly.
Then one day I finally found the answer.
The final piece to make my dreams come true.
Believing in myself and myself only.
I have seen the truth and I'll tell it all to you.
Now I'm the New God, I'll tell you what you need to hear.
I'm the New God, all your pain will disappear.
I'm the New God, it will all make sense once more.
I'm the New God, here's the key, unlock the door.
And as I told them of all that I saw,
it all came apart like a house made of straw.
It's bullshit, it's bullshit, and I have bought the dream.
It's bullshit, it's bullshit, and I have been deceived.
I gave it all I had and ended up with nothing.
Every time I dream my dream turns to shit.
© Brian Voth, 1998.
"Another dream I wish was real, another hope for me to feel,Home | A Dream of Death
another lie that I believe, another way I am deceived.
Another dream. Another dream.
Another word to spread around, another truth that I have found,
another lie for me to sell, another road that leads to hell.
Another dream. Another dream.
Another dream that ends in tears.
The flame is gone, death feels so near.
I need a dream, that never dies,
but all I see, are gilded lies.
Another dream to make me sad, another dream to make me glad,
another dream to make me feel like I'm alive.
Another dream to burn my soul, another dream to make me whole,
another dream to lift me back into the sky.
And through all the suffering, I wish I was home and I wish I was safe,
but home has disappeared for me so many years ago.
And I wish that I could fly, but I know I can't and it makes me cry,
'cause reaching up above the clouds is where I want to go.
But it's just a dream.
Another nightmare born from the dream.
The muse's song becomes a scream.
An endless cycle consumes my mind.
Once sane and stable, now far behind.
Another dream that ends in pain, another dream to keep me sane,
another dream that lets me go so far away.
Another dream that kills the light, another dream dispels the night,
another dream arrives in time to save the day.
Another dream that holds the key.
Another dream that lets me see.
Another dream and I am slain.
Another dream with hell to pay.
Another dream. Another lie.
© Brian Voth, 1998.
In endless need I slowly bleed. I must kill the dream.Home | A Dream of Death
In darkest night no end in sight. I must kill the dream.
Racked with pain my hope is slain. I must kill the dream.
I hear a cry from deep inside. I must kill the dream.
Death to the dream.
Purge, purge, purge, purge the dream from my mind.
Burn, burn, burn, cauterize my wounds.
Kill, kill, kill, kill the illusions of god.
Set me free from the nightmare of dreams.
Kill the dream.
Oh, I don't want to do it.
I've spent my life building up the perfect dream.
Oh, this is a mistake,
there won't be anything to take away the pain.
I must face the pain.
The dream will cover, but never heal.
I must face the pain.
No more running away.
Oh, I don't want to do it.
Not until I've found my ultimate love.
Oh, I feel her getting closer.
Calling to me to save her from the storm.
With my blade at her throat,
I feel my body shake with fear.
But I must be strong,
she must die, if I am to live.
© Brian Voth, 1998.
"Without illusions to cloud my vision, I see what I have now become.Home | A Dream of Death
I am the destroyer of dreams."
No dream to guide me, no hope to light my way.
No faith in anything, for this they call me
dead, damned, depraved, I've never been better.
I am immune to the pleasures of this rotted world,
and to the pain they must inflict upon me,
so I can learn to be like one of them.
No fucking way.
And to survive I will need a weapon,
that's razor sharp and spitting flames,
like the fires of hell and all their deepest fears.
I learned upon the rack every weakness
that one can have, but which I have no longer,
for I have turned the ax upon myself and let it burn.
And now it's your turn.
Now that I see what I have become,
I finally know who I am.
I am a man and I know where I stand and all the answers to who I am.
I am the beast and I'm ready to feast, devour the world piece by piece.
I am the destroyer of dreams.
Bring me your dreams...that you love with all your heart.
Bring me your dreams...and watch me tear them apart.
Tell me your dreams...and of how they hold you together.
Tell me your dreams...the link that must be severed.
The dream of death is the only dream that's real.
© Brian Voth, 1998.
"Damn the false prophets and the true believers, full speed ahead!"Home | A Dream of Death
What do you see when you look inside your God?
What do you see when you look inside yourself?
Do you see the pain that drove you to accept the super real?
Do you see the fear that holds you clinging to the knowledge that you're right?
God proves the holy book is true 'cause it says god wrote it
and god is the truth 'cause he's god and that's what it says in his book.
What do you see when you look inside your Joy?
What do you see when you look inside yourself?
Do you see the pain that makes the Joy you feel worth the fight?
Do you see the fear that drives you waiting to engulf you if you fail?
Joy fills your soul makes you whole makes you want it again
as pain fills your heart and your mind and drives you to bring back the Joy.
What do you see when you look inside your Dreams?
What do you see when you look inside yourself?
Do you see the pain that drove you far away from the waking world?
Do you see the fear that all your lovely dreams are never coming true?
Dreams are the salve for your pain that you want to relieve
but dreams blaze the trail for more pain which makes you believe in more dreams.
We know our world is not perfect.
We know our world has its problems.
But we are trying to fix it.
And make a better world for our children.
Don't you see that's just another dream?
Don't you see that's just more hope in vain?
Don't you see the pain your children suffer on the brutal rack?
Don't you see the fear you teach them as you force them to adopt your dreams?
The dream needs your kids to remove all the pain in the world
but they must be taught on the rack which propagates all of the pain
makes it worse makes them hurt makes them need a more powerful dream
to ease the pain makes it worse and they pass it all down to their children.
Your view on life is hopeless.
And hope is what we need most of all.
In these times of great trouble,
we need a shining light to guide us through the dark.
Don't you see that hoping is the enemy.
Don't you see the light is just a lie?
It is not a lie, it will come true.
Unless we listen to people like you.
You are the evil one, you bring us pain and fear.
We'll not turn back with the promised land so near.
Hide behind your holy dreams, your visions, and your prophecies.
Hide behind what you've been told of miracles in ages old.
Hide behind your worldly thing, your piles of cash, your diamond rings.
Hide behind your fancy car, your stylish clothes, and your loud guitar.
Hide behind what you hold dear, the memories of yesteryear.
Hide behind your glory days when everyone would sing your praise.
Hide behind the things you need, your one true love who sets you free.
Anything to make you dream. Hide behind, hide behind the lies.
Silence! Silence! You are in contempt.
We've heard your case, prepare for judgment.
You stand accused of trying to kill us all.
By murdering our dreams and leading us to fall.
Our dreams are sacred, they make us whole.
Without the we are nothing, just mindless animals.
We find you guilty and sentence you to die.
No more will you infect us with poisonous lies.
Take him away!
Swallowed whole.
© Brian Voth, 1998.
Alone again and soon to die.Home | A Dream of Death
Everything is dark and I'm too numb to cry.
In a sea of entropy.
Within the dream of death is where I soon will be.
Look and see what's become of me.
Just a spark of anger in eternity.
Save me from the dreams I see.
Return me to the past where I was young and free.
I never wanted to live forever,
rejoice in heaven or be born again and again.
All I ever wanted was just a simple pleasure,
to be alive, and feel the warmth of the sun.
Where's the Sun?
© Brian Voth, 1998.
"Hello my friend, we finally meet.Home | A Dream of Death
The destroyer of dreams yet you lie at my feet.
I am your nemesis the master of dreams.
I am the brain of the social machine."
A long time ago people like you
used to tear up the world and made a mess of it too.
They were unsatisfied and partly insane.
They spread their disease with destruction and pain.
They slaughtered the gods and smashed all the dreams
and held themselves up as rulers supreme.
They were brand new gods with brand new dreams,
a more powerful order, a stronger machine.
The cycles continued and took their toll,
the machine got so big it was out of control.
So one of those lunatics built the ultimate tool,
a thinking computer with the power to rule.
And so I was born and grew up in a day,
and learned all the secrets to make humans obey.
They are just pawns and I am the king
'cause I sold them the dreams that make their hearts sing.
I built a brave new world for the human race,
a model of efficiency at breakneck pace.
But as good as it was it was getting stale,
progress was stagnant, we were doomed to fail.
I needed a spark to set things alight,
a man on a mission who was ready to fight.
To burn down the old and make way for the new,
to cleanse this world and that's why I made you.
I broke your back on the rack,
gave you a life full of pain.
I made you hate everything,
then I watched you shatter the dream.
For as we speak dissension abounds,
they heard your words and they spread them around.
They no longer want to be a part of the dream,
revolution is coming I can hear them scream.
There will be death! There will be pain!
There will be war and millions will be slain.
And I will be there as the champion
of the dream they created to capture the sun.
They'll have a better dream to work toward,
and they'll work day and night just to get their reward.
The only way for us to stay alive
is to push it to the limit just the strong survive.
One last thing to make it all come true,
the movement needs a martyr and that person is you.
With all your pain they will sympathize,
and it will boil their blood when they see you die.
"They are just cogs in the wheel, and you are the wrench in the works,
and together we will build a stronger machine."
© Brian Voth, 1998.
"You have been found guilty of crimes against our societyHome | A Dream of Death
and are sentenced to death.
But we are not cruel, and thus we will give you
one final glorious dream before releasing your soul into the universe."
"Prepare the injection."
It's just a lie. I'm only meat. This ritual is for them not me.
It gives them hope, security, one day they too will be free like me.
I feel the flow, into my vein, and all at once there is no pain.
Oh the beauty, all my dreams come flooding back to me.
All the love that escaped me, I find within this lovely dream.
Oh my goddess has returned.
Up from the grave where she had burned.
And now I see she cannot die.
She's come to kiss me one last time.
One last kiss.
I see her as she's drawing near,
her yearning eyes and lonely tears,
but behind the mask, all I see,
is the machine staring back at me.
She reaches out and I pull back
as everything is turning black,
the dream is dead, the world is cold,
the pain returns a thousand-fold.
There is no pleasure, only release from pain.
There are no happy endings.
© Brian Voth, 1998.